Choosing your Maid, Matron, or Man of Honor

Traditionally, the role of Maid or Matron of Honor goes to the bride’s sister, closest female relative, or best friend.  Sometimes the bride’s best and closest friend is a guy, and it is appropriate to have him as your Man of Honor.  The only role a Man of Honor isn’t required to fill is in helping the bride dress. 

This role entails, mainly, of assisting the bride and overseeing the bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, flower girl and ring bearer (and their moms), and in being in contact with the mothers of the bridal couple. Your Maid/Matron or Man of Honor is the one who gets the ball rolling in throwing you a wedding shower and bachelorette party. 

It’s not a small job, and involves maturity, reliability, and responsibility as well as personal outlay of costs toward clothing and travel expenses.  It’s a good idea to discuss duties before getting a simple and uninformed “yes,” as there may be circumstances preventing your candidate from being able to perform all that the position requires. 

A good Maid, Matron or Man of Honor will be comfortable with initiating contact with others, be dependable and reliable and will have good hosting skills.  But most importantly, she/he will totally adore you, have a positive, enthusiastic attitude toward your wedding, and will stick with the program—and you—when the going gets rough!

Photos courtesy of Jessie Daniels Photography via
www.planningforever.com 

Duties of the Maid/Matron/Man of Honor:

• Assists the bride in choosing her gown and accessories as well as the bride’s attendant’s attire and accessories.
• Purchases her own gown and accessories (the bridal couple do not pay for this), or in the case of Man or Honor, purchases or rents his own attire.
• Pays for own travel expenses.
• Helps the bride and bridesmaids assemble and address invitations.
• Plans and hosts the bridal shower. 
• Plans and hosts the bachelorette party.
• Is in charge of recording gifts received at showers and other parties in order for the bride to write prompt thank-you notes.
• Helps the bride and bridesmaids assemble wedding favors.
• Attends rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
• Arrives at least two hours early to help the bride dress, and otherwise be of assistance.
• Keeps the bridesmaids organized, and helps them with their gowns.
• Is there to arrange the bride’s veil and train before and throughout the ceremony and help her bustle her gown or change before the reception, if necessary.
• Signs the wedding certificate as an official witness if she/he is over 18 years of age.
• Holds the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony.
• Is in charge of the groom’s ring.
• Stands in the receiving line to the left of the groom.
• Dances at the reception when the music begins and invites other guests to dance.
• May offer a toast to the newlyweds.
• Is gracious to your guests and helps host the reception.
• Helps the bride change after the ceremony, and into her “going away” outfit.
• Takes the bride’s wedding gown to the cleaners ASAP after the wedding for cleaning and preservation.

Your Maid, Matron or Man of Honor is one of the most important members of your wedding party—the one, besides the Best Man, who serves as a witness and signs his/her name on your Certificate of Marriage; and hopefully, the one whom you plan to be friends with for years to come, the one you’ll always remember for having done the honor of standing beside you when you and your groom took your vows.