I'm gearing up for a barbecue at Grace Episcopal Church, Bakersfield, on May 30th, 2011 which will be held out on the patio right after Sunday services. Grace is celebrating the adoptions of two of the most adorable little boys imaginable-- Lucca and Landon by their new forever mom, Alyssa Antongiovanni. And congratulations are in order for Grace's two high school grads, Class of 2011, David Deleersnyder and David Vivian, acolytes par excellence! Congratulations, everyone!
Sometimes the simplest of menus is the best-- in this case, grilled hot dogs with a large variety of condiments, potato and pasta salads along with green salads, a crock pot of chili, an assortment of crunchy chips, watermelon, plenty of soda, bottled water, iced tea, coffee, and of course cake!!! How easy is that, especially when you enlist your friends to bring a menu item?
The ingredients of the perfect hot dog is a matter of personal choice and usually ends up in debate. Some people are purists and will allow only Gulden's brown mustard to grace their 'dogs. Sauerkraut is the only way to go for others. More sophisticated souls can't live without their exotic secret sauces and chutneys. No meat products for vegans. Some people are minimalists and will throw away the bun and just eat the 'dog!--and I haven't even gotten into the subject of frankfurter/sausage preferences!
Personally, I like my hot dogs with mustard, mayo, catsup, onion, and sweet relish. A lot of people make faces and exclaim, "Eeewww, how can you put mayo on your hot dog!!!...how can you put mayo on anything???!!!" Well... for the same reason I team up peanut butter and bologna with mayo on Wonder bread for a "comfort food" sandwich...I just like it sometimes... I mean, how about Elvis' infamous grilled peanut butter, banana and bacon sandwiches? ...hmmm, I wonder what Elvis put on his hot dogs!
So what's on your hot dog?
Friday, May 27, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Inspiration: Buttercream Wedding
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| Inspiration Board by Susan Ohanneson, Red Letter Weddings and Events, Bakersfield, CA
A Buttercream Wedding: Ceremony and Reception at Rose Garden Weddings of Bakersfield on a private ranch on the Kern River just minutes from downtown Bakersfield, catered by the Cafe Med. The bride's inspiration and color scheme comes from her Tiffany & Co. canary yellow diamond engagement ring (at a mere $10,100!) so she decided on a monochromatic scheme of buttery yellows and creamy ivories. Bridal gown is an ivory strapless gown with a fitted bodice draped in asymmetrical crinkled chiffon with an A-line ball skirt of layer upon layer of ultra-fine tulle topped with point d'esprit and a sash of silk charmuse. From the J.Crew collection, item 13324, sizes 0-12, $3000. Bridal shoes have beautiful knotted detailing at the toe with a modified 3 1/4 inch pump in ivory. "Lola" by Fifi, $176 at www.myglassslipper.com. I would suggest a fingertip-to-chapel lenth train in plain ivory tule with headband, depending on bridal hairstyle. Bridemaid's gown is a strapless full-length crinkle chiffon with pleated bodice and draped skirt in buttercup by Lela Rose Bridemaids, style LR144, sizes 00-30W, $298. The wedding vintage-style wedding cake is ivory buttercream and features a golden cascade of sugar paste lilies. Invitations are "Claire" by Gwyneth Paige, vintage-inspired with a yellow-quilted background and scrolling brackets in yellow with just a touch of spring green.www.gwynethpaige.com. Bridal flowers inslude roses, orchids and calla lilies. Flowers and tablesettings by Effloresce, Santa Barbara Designs,www.effloresce.com. Table favors are terra cotta pots of spring herbs and also serve as place card holders. DJ by Aaron's DJ Service. Photographer of choice: With Love Photography, Bakersfield CA www.withlovephotography.co
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Inspiration: California Diva Chic!
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| Inspiration board by Susan Ohanneson, Red Letter Weddings and Events, Bakersfield, CA |
Sycamore Mineral Springs Resort and Spa, San Luis Obispo (www.sycamoresprings.com) is an idyllic destination venue where the bridal couple will be pampered like the celebrities they are on their Big Day. We've done a fresh take on the ubiquitous pink and brown color scheme using Pantone's 2011 color of the year, "Honeysuckle" teamed with Pantone's "Rose Coral" and "Nougat." The bride is wearing a white feather headpiece in place of traditional veil, designed by Harriet, British milliner to the smart London set (www.byharriet.uk) with a short strapless wedding gown a la Carnaby Street with dropped waistline and rose detail at the ruffled hem by Dere Kiang. The bride will sparkle on the dance floor in crystal evening sandals by Martinez Valero. The groom's nehru suit provides a sleek, modern look that shows his individuality--great for the guy who doesn't like wearing ties. Bridesmaid's strapless chiffon dress with shirred bodice and matching flower detail at natural waist in cappucino by After Six Bridesmaids. Pink Rose and feather fascinator by Aftershock, London (www.aftershockplc.com). Coordinating "Stella" platform pumps with peep toe and ruffled vamp details by Pour La Victorie. Floral designs in lush California tropical pinks and corals by Panacea Floral Event Design, SLO (www.panaceaflowers.com). Table setting and linens by Bella Signature Design (www.bellasignature.com). Custom invitation suite, "Pretty Blossoms" by Oh Louise! (www.ohlouise.com). Wedding cake from The Cakery, SLO (www.slocakery.com).
Saturday, May 21, 2011
A Bit of Paradise on the Kern River
On a sunny afternoon earlier this week I decided to take a drive out to Rose Garden Weddings and Events of Bakersfield, located on Round Mountain Road on the Kern River. I've seen their Website and was impressed, but this is a ceremony and reception venue that bears a personal visit in order to see just how beautiful it is in its grand scale!
Paula and Jesse Leith have turned their Kern River ranch into an authentic western-style event venue featuring part of a film set imported from Hollywood, impeccably furnished in true western style with an innumerable number of photographs, genuine movie props and memorabilia used by stars like Clint Eastwood, Miss Kitty, and The Duke himself. If you've ever watched Gunsmoke or Little House on the Prairie, you've seen this before, only in 2-D, small screen black and white. Now you can experience it personally in three-dimensional, real-time living color!
Photo by Susan Ohanneson
Paula and Jesse Leith have turned their Kern River ranch into an authentic western-style event venue featuring part of a film set imported from Hollywood, impeccably furnished in true western style with an innumerable number of photographs, genuine movie props and memorabilia used by stars like Clint Eastwood, Miss Kitty, and The Duke himself. If you've ever watched Gunsmoke or Little House on the Prairie, you've seen this before, only in 2-D, small screen black and white. Now you can experience it personally in three-dimensional, real-time living color!
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| Photo courtesy of Rose Garden Weddings and Events of Bakersfield First stop: The Saloon, where guests can gather and have a cool one. Or two. |
Photo courtesy of Rose Garden Weddings and Events of Bakersfield
Inside the saloon is a bar we've all seen on TV in various westerns, but here it is right here in Bakersfield (and what better location!). ...Pretty fancy watering hole and your guests will love it!
Photo courtesy of Rose Garden Weddings and Events of Bakersfield
The Formal Parlor, located inside the saloon.
Photo courtesy of Rose Garden Weddings and Events of Bakersfield
The spacious, elegantly appointed dressing room for the bride.
Spectacular view from the bride's dressing room on upper terrace. There are multiple levels with terraces and landings where guests can sit, relax, and watch the Kern River roll on by.
Photo by Susan Ohanneson
The Rose Garden, ground level. Rose Garden Weddings and Events is a photographer's dream, with little nooks and hideaways, each lovelier than the next! No problem fitting a tent in this space should the weather be a little iffy!
Photo by Susan Ohanneson
Guests can gather around the labyrinthine fire pit on cool evenings.
Rose Garden Wedding and Events of Bakersfield is clearly a bit of paradise on the Kern River, one that Bakersfield brides are quickly discovering and booking up to a year in advance. Paula rents out her venue by the day, so there is no frantic rush to set up and break down, and there are no other weddings or events held on your day--it's all yours! In fact, Paula and Jesse will even rent out their house to lodge your guests if you don't care to drive back to town after the wedding. There is also an enclosed space on the property where children can play and be safe from the river. You can bring in a sitter, hire a bounce house, and then get back to the adult party without worrying about the kids.
I really enjoyed my visit to Rose Garden Weddings and Events-- Paula and Jesse are a wonderful couple and just plain nice to work with--and you've got to see Jesse's bull riding photos when you go, along with Paula's horse, Buster! And the dogs! And possibly, the kitten that Jesse and Paula were busy rescuing during my visit. The Rose Garden is quite clearly a labor of love that Paula and Jesse are happy to share with us for our most special red letter days!
For more information, contact Paula Leith at Rose Garden Weddings and Events, 661-772-7493.
Visit Paula's website at www.RoseGardenWeddingsofBakersfield.com.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Ten Absolutely Stunning Colored Wedding Gowns
There is an old poem about how the color of your wedding dress will influence your future: “Married in white, you will have chosen all right. Married in gray, you will go far away. Married in black, you will wish yourself back. Married in red, you’ll wish yourself dead. Married in blue, you will always be true. Married in pearl, you’ll live in a whirl. Married in green, ashamed to be seen, Married in yellow, ashamed of the fellow. Married in brown, you’ll live out of town. Married in pink, your spirits will sink.”
...I seriously doubt it.
While the great majority of gowns are still white, some brides yearn for something a little more special...a little more unusual... and a little less white! Face it, for some of us fair-complected women, white is not exactly the most flattering. And many encore brides have already been there and done that, but still want to wear a wedding gown--only, not a white one! Wearing a colored wedding gown makes a personal statement that you dare to be just a bit different-- that you are not afraid to define your own personal style and have the confidence to stand out in a crowd.
Tale a look at 10 of the most absolutely stunning colored wedding gowns!
...I seriously doubt it.
While the great majority of gowns are still white, some brides yearn for something a little more special...a little more unusual... and a little less white! Face it, for some of us fair-complected women, white is not exactly the most flattering. And many encore brides have already been there and done that, but still want to wear a wedding gown--only, not a white one! Wearing a colored wedding gown makes a personal statement that you dare to be just a bit different-- that you are not afraid to define your own personal style and have the confidence to stand out in a crowd.
Tale a look at 10 of the most absolutely stunning colored wedding gowns!
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| Claire Pettibone, one of my favorite designers, incorporates a romantic, vintage feel in her bridal creations. Her pale pink ombre floor-length sheath gown features a sweetheart neckline and bubble skirt with embellishments of lace and applique. A dewdrop-covered rose bolero covers spaghetti straps, http://www.clairepettibone.com/ |
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| Charcoal strapless sweetheart ballerina ballgown with swirling organza train, watteau back and dropped French tulle bodice with grosgrain multibow sash by Vera Wang at http://www.verawang.com/ |
Inspired by the world of Japanese geisha, the Bellantuono collection of spring 2010 incorporates an eastern-style element-- an exquisitely embroidered obi-type sash--in this light blue tiered gown. http://www.bellantuono/.
Scarlet gown with spider lace over fitted bustier. Skirt features taffeta pick-up skirt over pleated tulle underskirt (Thank you, Google Translator http://www.translate.google.com/!) from Cymbeline Paris, http://www.cymbelineusa.com/ (description from http://www.mariee.fr/).
Oscar de la Renta blue ombre from Spring 2011 collection. Photo from http://www.weddingsunveiledblog.blogspot.com/ via http://www.pinterest.com/
Designer Eugenia Vasiliadis gets her inspiration from Hollywood starlets of the 30's and 40's. This romantic ballroom gown of gold satin and silk has a strapless sweetheart neckline with ruching and beading gracing the bustline above a very fitted dropped waist bodice and gracefully swirled skirt. http://www.eugeniacouture.com/
Monique Lhuiller's "Candy" design was a favorite at Bridal Fashion Week for Spring 2012. Blush embroidered illusion tulle strapless corset bodice has a modified A-line skirt. Perfectly simple. Simply perfect. How much more beautiful can a gown be? http://www.moniquelhullier.com/
Strapless sweetheart A-line gown has pleated waist with petal applique over French tulle. Designer Reem Acra calls this gown "Sexy Hollywood" and the color "green tea." http://www.reemacra.com/
With an intricately draped bustier top and slim rows of crystals on the straps and belt, this peony-hued (i.e. lavender) gown is a ballerina-inspired confection by Reem Acra. http://www.reemacra.com/
Ooh-la-la, it's Cymbeline's "Evilou"! According to Journal des Femmes (http://www.journaldesfems.com/) and again with the help of Google Translator, "This is a dress that bares your shoulders nicely. Pretty draped asymmetrical panels, this outfit is both modern and original, with its black mesh that supports the whole." And is all wrapped up in a pretty black ribbon! http://www.cymbelineusa.com/
Enjoy!
Susan
Thursday, May 5, 2011
The Guest List: Know When to Hold 'Em and When to Fold 'Em
No matter whether you have a wedding planner or help from your friends and family, only you and your fiance can create the guest list. This is your wedding; these are the people you'll want to be there. Don't leave it up to another member of the family to make these important decisions or you may find you don't know who the heck all these people are at your own wedding!
Once you have your wedding ceremony and reception site booked, you can realistically begin thinking about how many guests you may invite to your wedding. An important consideration is your budget: Feeding your guests well is not only very important in showing your hospitality, but one of the most expensive aspects of your reception. The more guests you invite, the higher your food and liquor bills will be, not to mention the added cost of extra seating, table settings and centerpieces for each table. You may prefer to invite more guests and cut back in other areas of your budget. But before you begin verbally inviting people (or saying yes to people who personally invite themselves!), it's well worth your time to sit down with your fiance and make a final decision on the maximum number of guests you will be able to invite.
Deal the Deck
In all likelihood, your parents will want to invite their nearest and dearest friends to watch with pride as you and your future spouse take that walk together down the aisle, and if they're helping you foot the bill, they really should be able to have some say in the guest list. And then you've got family to consider, along with your friends and those important professional colleagues you'd really like to attend.
One relatively simple solution comes from Anna Post, author of Do I Have to Wear White? Emily Post's Answers to America's Top Wedding Questions (Collins, $11.45 at http://www.amazon.com/, who suggests assigning 50% of the guest invitations to yourselves, the bride and groom. Then assign 25% of the guest list to each set of parents. You can always allot leftover invitations one of you doesn't need to those of you who do.
Who's In and Who's Out
Who is so important that you can't imagine not inviting? These guests include your intimate family and friends and others who have been important people in your lives forever. But if you have relatives you are not close to and haven't seen for years, you might send them a wedding announcement instead, as well as friends who have moved very far away and there's no chance that they can or will attend. Sometimes, however, it's worth it to have a few extra invitations handy to send to your very special family and friends who live far away even though you know they won't be able to make it, and then don't include these people in your total guest count.
Who is not welcome? This may include ex-spouses, ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends--it's something you and your fiance need to discuss. You may prefer an adult-only affair and not want to include children, or plus-guests for your single friends and relatives (this really ratchets up your costs). People who drink too much or who have a history of disturbing, disruptive behavior, especially if you are not close to them, should go into this category, as should people from whom you are estranged.
Plus Guests
This is the time to decide about whether or not you'll invite plus guests. If you've got the space and budget, no problem! However, the more guests attending, the more your wedding costs will be. Some couples invite plus guests of single friends when they know there is a definite relationship going on and/or they at least know the name of the plus guest. However, if there is no room in your budget for the plus guest, you should make it known before the invitations are sent out, in a general manner, that singles should refrain from bringing a date with them. And as their invitation will not be addressed to "Mr. John Doe and Guest," there should be little confusion in the matter.
Office Politics
Office politics can get sticky-- you've probably announced your upcoming wedding at work and believe it or not, the million-dollar question in the break room is who will be invited and who won't. If you have a small group of co-workers you regularly hang out with and text after work and on weekends, by all means invite them, but there is no way it can (or should) be held against you if you don't invite everyone in your office! If you work in a really small office of six or less and you have a close working relationship, you might consider inviting them, but it's not a good idea to exclude a person for a petty reason that really won't matter in a week. It's perfectly okay to invite your supervisor or boss, providing he/she knows who you are and you have a good, comfortable working relationship. Just don't use your wedding to brown-nose-- it will be pretty transparent to the person you're inviting and most likely will not get you that promotion or raise!
What About the Kids?
Some people heartily welcome babies children, and the more the merrier. Others put an age limit on children attending, and others choose to not invite anyone under 18. If you are planning a morning or afternoon wedding, it's more appropriate for having youngsters attend--it's daytime and they're normally awake. Evening affairs are a bit different-- these weddings are more for adults, and children tend to get cranky when they're up past their normal bedtime, especially with so much excitement in the air.
If you decide on including children, you might want to provide on-site child care to keep the kiddies busy. This way the parents can enjoy the wedding without having to constantly keep an eye on them. If you would rather not include children, your wedding invitations will reflect this by the distinct absence of the children's names on the envelopes. Some parents don't "get it," so you can let it be known, before the invitations go out, that children are not invited.
There will always be a mother who won't understand why she can't bring her little darling to the wedding, but remain polite and firm; tell her that you've already had to tell other guests "no" and it wouldn't be fair to make exceptions. It the parent threatens not to attend without little Johnny, express your regrets and don't feel guilty! You must draw the line somewhere, and you can't please everybody. Besides: Mom will have had several weeks' notice beforehand in which to find a babysitter.
Of course, the children you'll want to invite are your own children, and children in your wedding party--there is good reason why they are at your wedding. You may either arrange for someone to take them to a sitter off-site after the ceremony, depending on age and temperament, or allow them to stay and enjoy the reception.
Shuffle and Cut
Now that you've got your preliminary guest list completed, it's time to begin to shuffle and cut! Sharon Naylor, author of 1001 Ways to Save Money...and Still have a Dazzling Wedding (McGraw Hill, $12.00 at http://www.amazon.com/) suggests creating categories:
Now you can begin cutting the list from the third category up. It's better to cut out the entire third category (friends and co-workers) and avoid hurt feelings and misunderstandings in general than to cherry-pick in the first two categories. If you don't invite second Cousin Ethel and do invite second Cousins Ribby, Ed and Martha, odds are they will figure it out and wonder what poor Ethel's ever done to deserve this snub! Add all your desirable "cut" guests to your "B" list.
David Tutera, celebrity event planner and host of the the TV show My Fair Wedding suggests, "Ask yourself, have I seen or spoken to this person in the last year?...If the answer is no, odds are that you can keep them off your must-have list." And what about that friend who keeps blowing you off every time you're scheduled to go out to lunch together?
If you've guaranteed that 100 people will show up and only 85 are planning to attend, it's perfectly acceptable to call people on your "B" list and personally invite them, even if it's a week or days before the wedding. Be careful to use some tact here: Whatever you say, don't tell them that you don't have enough guests attending, need a live warm body to fill an extra seat, and she's that live warm body!
Lay 'Em Out
In two final lists, "A" and "B," that is! When you're doing your final lists, this is the time to gather certain information that will save you loads of time (and panic!) later: Gather the following information for each guest:
Deal 'Em
Once you've completed your guest lists, you can now safely hand the work of data input, addressing and mailing your invitations to your wedding planner or whomever is in charge of this task. Invitations are sent out about six weeks before the wedding; eight weeks for out-of-town guests. Choose and buy your invitations early if you plan on having a calligrapher address your invitations, or if you are having a wedding that involves a lot of guests from out of town, as you will want to send Save the Date cards at least six to eight months in advance. If you're having a destination wedding, send these Save the Date cards out at least a year in advance to your guests can plan and save in order to join you in your exotic locale!
Once you have your wedding ceremony and reception site booked, you can realistically begin thinking about how many guests you may invite to your wedding. An important consideration is your budget: Feeding your guests well is not only very important in showing your hospitality, but one of the most expensive aspects of your reception. The more guests you invite, the higher your food and liquor bills will be, not to mention the added cost of extra seating, table settings and centerpieces for each table. You may prefer to invite more guests and cut back in other areas of your budget. But before you begin verbally inviting people (or saying yes to people who personally invite themselves!), it's well worth your time to sit down with your fiance and make a final decision on the maximum number of guests you will be able to invite.
Deal the Deck
In all likelihood, your parents will want to invite their nearest and dearest friends to watch with pride as you and your future spouse take that walk together down the aisle, and if they're helping you foot the bill, they really should be able to have some say in the guest list. And then you've got family to consider, along with your friends and those important professional colleagues you'd really like to attend.
One relatively simple solution comes from Anna Post, author of Do I Have to Wear White? Emily Post's Answers to America's Top Wedding Questions (Collins, $11.45 at http://www.amazon.com/, who suggests assigning 50% of the guest invitations to yourselves, the bride and groom. Then assign 25% of the guest list to each set of parents. You can always allot leftover invitations one of you doesn't need to those of you who do.
Who's In and Who's Out
Who is so important that you can't imagine not inviting? These guests include your intimate family and friends and others who have been important people in your lives forever. But if you have relatives you are not close to and haven't seen for years, you might send them a wedding announcement instead, as well as friends who have moved very far away and there's no chance that they can or will attend. Sometimes, however, it's worth it to have a few extra invitations handy to send to your very special family and friends who live far away even though you know they won't be able to make it, and then don't include these people in your total guest count.
Who is not welcome? This may include ex-spouses, ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends--it's something you and your fiance need to discuss. You may prefer an adult-only affair and not want to include children, or plus-guests for your single friends and relatives (this really ratchets up your costs). People who drink too much or who have a history of disturbing, disruptive behavior, especially if you are not close to them, should go into this category, as should people from whom you are estranged.
Plus Guests
This is the time to decide about whether or not you'll invite plus guests. If you've got the space and budget, no problem! However, the more guests attending, the more your wedding costs will be. Some couples invite plus guests of single friends when they know there is a definite relationship going on and/or they at least know the name of the plus guest. However, if there is no room in your budget for the plus guest, you should make it known before the invitations are sent out, in a general manner, that singles should refrain from bringing a date with them. And as their invitation will not be addressed to "Mr. John Doe and Guest," there should be little confusion in the matter.
Office Politics
Office politics can get sticky-- you've probably announced your upcoming wedding at work and believe it or not, the million-dollar question in the break room is who will be invited and who won't. If you have a small group of co-workers you regularly hang out with and text after work and on weekends, by all means invite them, but there is no way it can (or should) be held against you if you don't invite everyone in your office! If you work in a really small office of six or less and you have a close working relationship, you might consider inviting them, but it's not a good idea to exclude a person for a petty reason that really won't matter in a week. It's perfectly okay to invite your supervisor or boss, providing he/she knows who you are and you have a good, comfortable working relationship. Just don't use your wedding to brown-nose-- it will be pretty transparent to the person you're inviting and most likely will not get you that promotion or raise!
What About the Kids?
Some people heartily welcome babies children, and the more the merrier. Others put an age limit on children attending, and others choose to not invite anyone under 18. If you are planning a morning or afternoon wedding, it's more appropriate for having youngsters attend--it's daytime and they're normally awake. Evening affairs are a bit different-- these weddings are more for adults, and children tend to get cranky when they're up past their normal bedtime, especially with so much excitement in the air.
If you decide on including children, you might want to provide on-site child care to keep the kiddies busy. This way the parents can enjoy the wedding without having to constantly keep an eye on them. If you would rather not include children, your wedding invitations will reflect this by the distinct absence of the children's names on the envelopes. Some parents don't "get it," so you can let it be known, before the invitations go out, that children are not invited.
There will always be a mother who won't understand why she can't bring her little darling to the wedding, but remain polite and firm; tell her that you've already had to tell other guests "no" and it wouldn't be fair to make exceptions. It the parent threatens not to attend without little Johnny, express your regrets and don't feel guilty! You must draw the line somewhere, and you can't please everybody. Besides: Mom will have had several weeks' notice beforehand in which to find a babysitter.
Of course, the children you'll want to invite are your own children, and children in your wedding party--there is good reason why they are at your wedding. You may either arrange for someone to take them to a sitter off-site after the ceremony, depending on age and temperament, or allow them to stay and enjoy the reception.
Shuffle and Cut
Now that you've got your preliminary guest list completed, it's time to begin to shuffle and cut! Sharon Naylor, author of 1001 Ways to Save Money...and Still have a Dazzling Wedding (McGraw Hill, $12.00 at http://www.amazon.com/) suggests creating categories:
- Close family members such as brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, first cousins.
- Best friends and extended family such as second cousins and those who've been around so long they seem like family.
- Other friends, pals, buddies, etc., colleagues and co-workers.
Now you can begin cutting the list from the third category up. It's better to cut out the entire third category (friends and co-workers) and avoid hurt feelings and misunderstandings in general than to cherry-pick in the first two categories. If you don't invite second Cousin Ethel and do invite second Cousins Ribby, Ed and Martha, odds are they will figure it out and wonder what poor Ethel's ever done to deserve this snub! Add all your desirable "cut" guests to your "B" list.
David Tutera, celebrity event planner and host of the the TV show My Fair Wedding suggests, "Ask yourself, have I seen or spoken to this person in the last year?...If the answer is no, odds are that you can keep them off your must-have list." And what about that friend who keeps blowing you off every time you're scheduled to go out to lunch together?
If you've guaranteed that 100 people will show up and only 85 are planning to attend, it's perfectly acceptable to call people on your "B" list and personally invite them, even if it's a week or days before the wedding. Be careful to use some tact here: Whatever you say, don't tell them that you don't have enough guests attending, need a live warm body to fill an extra seat, and she's that live warm body!
Lay 'Em Out
In two final lists, "A" and "B," that is! When you're doing your final lists, this is the time to gather certain information that will save you loads of time (and panic!) later: Gather the following information for each guest:
- Guest's full name as well as nickname, including title (Mr. Mrs., Ms. Rev. Dr) and suffix (Junior, Senior)
- Complete addresses including apartment numbers and zip codes,
- Contact numbers
- Email addresses
- Note marital status
- names of children and/or plus-guests invited
- Note of who's coming in from out of town.
- Make space for an RSVP response
Deal 'Em
Once you've completed your guest lists, you can now safely hand the work of data input, addressing and mailing your invitations to your wedding planner or whomever is in charge of this task. Invitations are sent out about six weeks before the wedding; eight weeks for out-of-town guests. Choose and buy your invitations early if you plan on having a calligrapher address your invitations, or if you are having a wedding that involves a lot of guests from out of town, as you will want to send Save the Date cards at least six to eight months in advance. If you're having a destination wedding, send these Save the Date cards out at least a year in advance to your guests can plan and save in order to join you in your exotic locale!
Online Shopping
Okay, quick, ladies: What's $14.95 + $35.99 + ($2.75 x12) + $7.64 (standard ground delivery)? The correct answer is what you may have just spent online on your lunch hour shopping for fun little wedding chatchkas: A grand total of $91.58. Which may not seem an awful lot in the grand scheme of your wedding budget, but after a few episodes of lunch-hour and late-night shopping on the Internet, especially before you have your overall wedding vision in mind, it adds up. Even when you do know what you want, it still all adds up!
Don't get me wrong--the Internet is an awesome place for brides to get information and inspiration for their weddings. It enables you to view the latest trends in bridal fashion and get great ideas on how you want your wedding to look. It's a great place to do preliminary research on venues and vendors in your area as well as connect with other brides on boards, not to mention read bridal blogs (like this one!). I personally love the Internet! But there is really no substitute for shopping in real brick-and-mortar shops, seeing the merchandise with your own eyes, being able to examine the true colors, feel them in your hands, and check for quality and style, not to mention being able to meet your vendors face-to-face. What may look good online can turn out to be some cheesy, poor quality item you wouldn't even look at on the shelf, much less incorporate into your wedding decor.
If you're a DIY bride ordering flowers online, this can get tricky. One bride I know ordered lilies for her big day online. The immature buds refused to open no matter what, and she ended up having to run to the grocery store a day before the wedding to buy more lilies! This set her back another $100 for half the amount of stems she had ordered online, and then she was stuck with the original lilies, which finally opened a week after the wedding! Thoroughly research what you're ordering online, especially when it comes to live plants, food, or other perishables.
Buying bridal gowns online is also very tricky. Unless you're six feet tall and a perfect size six, chances are you will need to try on several gowns before you find the gown. Don't settle for a picture online and fantasies of looking exactly like the model. Everyone wears a gown differently, according to stature and physique. The gown in the photo may not suit you, while a similar dress with a slightly different cut may be the perfect one. Or you may find, to your surprise, that you look absolutely stunning in a gown style you never even considered, and fall in love with it. So before you buy, you must, must, must go gown shopping and try it on.
As for the bobble-head wedding cake toppers, personalized balloons and gag gifts for your wedding party that were hilarious when you first saw them online, monogrammed matchbooks and paper cocktail napkins and whatever seemed like a good idea when you pressed the "purchase" button, just remember that all these spur-of-the moment purchases can add up very quickly and eat into your wedding budget, money that might be better spent elsewhere especially if finances are tight.
Find out what your local bridal shops, linen rental and party equipment supply stores have to offer and go from there. Buying locally can actually save a considerable amount of money, not to mention the time and headache of having to return items by mail if you find they aren't what you wanted or expected. Shopping locally can also give you the ability to shop online and actually beat the local price on some items. Of course, there are specialty items that you can only find on the web, such as handcrafted one-of-a-kind items you see on Etsy or other online specialty shops. But don't pass up local boutiques--who knows what you may find, and without the wait for delivery or shipping charge.
The trick is in having your preliminary plans in place before you begin shopping-- season and wedding date, size of your wedding, formality, time of day, style and theme, color scheme, and ceremony and reception venues. And most importantly, budget. Then you will be able to easily shop with a clear vision and goal in mind, knowing what you want. And who knows? You might be able spend the money you saved on an awesome gift for your groom!
Best regards,
Susan
Sunday, May 1, 2011
You're Engaged! ...Now What?
The love of your life has gotten down on bended knee, presented you with the ring of your dreams and finally popped the question--and you've said yes! Congratulations! You're now officially engaged! Let the wedding plans begin! ...But where exactly do you begin? Today and in the coming days, I'm going to take you step-by-step into planning the wedding of your dreams--in building the strong and healthy "bones" of your wedding--a solid foundation that will carry over into your future married life.
Upon your engagement, you and your future spouse will have quite a lot to talk about, and those conversations should include discussions on how you both envision your big day. It's always a good idea to begin early in coming to agreement about the most important things on which your wedding will hinge:
1) The budget: As tedious and boring as budgets are, numbers don't lie: Your own particular numbers will tell you just how much you can afford to spend on your wedding, and how many guests you can invite. It may even determine the date, as certain times of the year are more expensive than others when it comes to getting married. This is the time to decide who will pay for what, and also the time to meet with your parents to find out how much financial help and support they are willing to give. You may be pleasantly surprised find out how much financial help and overall support your families are eager to offer. On the other hand, fortunes and circumstances may have changed, and it is not kind or reasonable to expect a parent who's gone through hard times to bear the financial burden of your wedding. You may be given the green light for a lavish event, or you may have to scale back on your plans, but remember: inexpensive does not mean cheap or substandard. No matter what your budget is, with good planning, you will be able to have the most beautiful wedding ever!
Whatever you do, please don't shoot yourself in the foot by avoiding the subject of your budget in the very beginning stages of wedding planning. Know exactly where you stand, financially. I've known couples who have begun planning their weddings with a blind eye toward budget and have run out of money mid-course, which has at best caused them to have to change plans mid-stream and at worst, forced them to cancel their wedding entirely, many times with deposits forfeited and debts to pay off. This is not a good way to begin a marriage!
2) Hire a wedding consultant: According to the Kern County Bridal Association's statistics, the average wedding takes about 18 months to plan; average cost for a wedding in Bakersfield is now around $30,000; and average number of guests in our locale is 170. This is a big job for the bridal couple who has little time or experience in planning weddings, and the money you spend on hiring a bridal consultant will save you not only time and money, but a whole lot of sleepless nights and overall stress and anxiety. Sure, your family members can help, but they can't be both workers and guests. That's like asking them to be in two places at the same time, and this is where the best-laid plans often go awry.
A good bridal consultant will charge an hourly rate and flat fee for services, according to time and hours spent assisting you with your wedding, and will also have wedding packages to choose from. In this method of payment, you can determine in the very beginning how many hours you will require from your planner, and buy as many (or few) hours as needed, often adjusting your hours needed during the planning process. This way you're in control of how your hard-earned money is spent and on track with your wedding costs.
Some consultants charge a percentage (10%-15%) of total wedding costs. I personally have a bit of a problem with this, as it leaves the door open for unscrupulous wedding planners to take advantage of a good situation: overwhelmed wedding couples with open pocketbooks and stars in their eyes. Simply put, the more your wedding costs, the more your wedding planner earns, and an unscrupulous planner may attempt to hard-sell you into including items and services you don't want, don't need and really can't afford, and when you're not in your best frame of mind. If you do choose a planner who charges rates by percentage of total cost, make sure it is clearly spelled out in the contract whether the wedding planner's fees are included in total cost of your wedding or in addition to total cost.
In any case, never, ever hire a professional wedding consultant without signing a formal contract with him or her-- or anyone, for that matter! Read the fine print! If there's something you don't understand, have it clarified before you sign. And if there's something you don't feel comfortable with, either negotiate required changes and have it initialed and documented, or simply do not sign. Also, make sure your professional wedding planner has a business license and business insurance.
3: Meet with clergy member and schedule pre-marital counseling: Depending on your denomination, you may be required to go through weeks or months of pre-marital counseling and religious training if you intend on being married in that church. This is something you need to find out right away and not leave until the last minute, especially if you've been previously married or have not regularly attended your church in a long time. This is why I suggest this step first-- you may find you'll need more engagement time necessary than originally planned or make other arrangements. Find out what dates are available for your wedding-- there are times in some faiths and denominations where weddings are not performed, such as certain days of the week and high holy days. If you're being married in a church, there may be specific regulations on what you can and can't do or have at your wedding. For instance, you may not be able to have "popular" music included in your ceremony, and this includes the ever-popular Wedding March in some places! In some churches, flowers are not allowed during Lent. Decorations may be limited to what is liturgically correct, and the altar guild director and/or priest has final say-so on these matters.
If you're not planning a religious wedding, it's a good idea to interview a few officiants before selecting one. Not every couple wants to end up with Brother Billy Bob bearing snakes in a sack at their wedding! Find an officiant who suits you both and will perform your wedding ceremony as you wish. Ask your friends, or allow your wedding planner to suggest possible candidates to choose from.
4: Reserve wedding and reception sites and make initial catering contacts: The most desirable venues and vendors are booked up to a year in advance--get your reservation in as soon as possible! Your wedding and reception site will be the major factor in the theme, style, and color scheme of your wedding--it sets the tone of your celebration. The trick is to find a place in which you can envision the wedding you want while keeping an open mind to the inspiration and possibilities a previously unknown venue might offer. You may have a style and color scheme you've wanted forever, then find an enchanting reception site that will cause you to change your mind entirely! This is why I recommend looking at reception venues even before buying your wedding gown and invitations.
Make sure you book a site that will comfortably hold all your guests and there is room for vendors to set up and do their work without getting in the way at your reception. Take note of equipment that comes with the rental of the venue, hours of set-up and tear-down included, and the items you'll have to bring in through independent vendors. Also, take plenty of photographs of your wedding venue when you do the walk-through. They will be invaluable in helping you with your wedding plans. This is commonly a service your wedding planner is hired to help you with--finding the right venue and vendors, and looking over the contracts with you, as your advocate, before you sign on the dotted line.
5: Interview photographers and hire one: This is one item that often gets left out of the budget or forgotten until the last minute. Don't be left with moving images of stationary objects after hiring your best friend's brother-in-law to take pictures in order to save a little money! Your wedding ceremony and reception last only a day out of your lives--your photos last virtually forever. This is not the place to cut back in your budget or be left until the last minute. Good photographers are in high demand and require early booking. So what do you want to be looking at for the next 50 years-- blurred pics of the label of a champagne bottle your somewhat inebriated guest/"photographer" fixed on, or fantastically awesome, professional photographs of you and your wedding? You can't buy back the day. Hire a good photographer whose style and portfolio appeals to you to preserve your wedding day in pictures that will look even better as the years go by.
6: Register at local bridal registries and if you wish, start a bridal website online. As soon as you announce your engagement, people will begin asking you where you're registered and gifts will begin to arrive, even a year in advance of the big day! You'll want everyone to know the china and flatware pattern(s) you've chosen, your household needs, home style and color preferences. Everyone expects the bridal couple to have a registry; it's not considered crass consumerism or downright greed, no matter what snarky Cousin Bluebelle says. It will save your family, friends and other well-wishers a lot of time and guesswork in knowing what you really would prefer and appreciate. It will also save you hours in line returning gifts you can't use, however well-intentioned they may be. However, always remember that others have the perfect right to spend their money on gifts as they personally wish, and are also within the bounds of etiquette to send nothing but their best regards.
Once you've built these basic "bones," the foundation of your wedding plans, you'll be off to a good, solid start with the most fundamental of problems solved, and the rest will soon begin to make sense and fall into place, no matter if you're getting married six months or sixteen months from now.
Happy Planning!
Best regards,
Susan
Upon your engagement, you and your future spouse will have quite a lot to talk about, and those conversations should include discussions on how you both envision your big day. It's always a good idea to begin early in coming to agreement about the most important things on which your wedding will hinge:
1) The budget: As tedious and boring as budgets are, numbers don't lie: Your own particular numbers will tell you just how much you can afford to spend on your wedding, and how many guests you can invite. It may even determine the date, as certain times of the year are more expensive than others when it comes to getting married. This is the time to decide who will pay for what, and also the time to meet with your parents to find out how much financial help and support they are willing to give. You may be pleasantly surprised find out how much financial help and overall support your families are eager to offer. On the other hand, fortunes and circumstances may have changed, and it is not kind or reasonable to expect a parent who's gone through hard times to bear the financial burden of your wedding. You may be given the green light for a lavish event, or you may have to scale back on your plans, but remember: inexpensive does not mean cheap or substandard. No matter what your budget is, with good planning, you will be able to have the most beautiful wedding ever!
Whatever you do, please don't shoot yourself in the foot by avoiding the subject of your budget in the very beginning stages of wedding planning. Know exactly where you stand, financially. I've known couples who have begun planning their weddings with a blind eye toward budget and have run out of money mid-course, which has at best caused them to have to change plans mid-stream and at worst, forced them to cancel their wedding entirely, many times with deposits forfeited and debts to pay off. This is not a good way to begin a marriage!
2) Hire a wedding consultant: According to the Kern County Bridal Association's statistics, the average wedding takes about 18 months to plan; average cost for a wedding in Bakersfield is now around $30,000; and average number of guests in our locale is 170. This is a big job for the bridal couple who has little time or experience in planning weddings, and the money you spend on hiring a bridal consultant will save you not only time and money, but a whole lot of sleepless nights and overall stress and anxiety. Sure, your family members can help, but they can't be both workers and guests. That's like asking them to be in two places at the same time, and this is where the best-laid plans often go awry.
A good bridal consultant will charge an hourly rate and flat fee for services, according to time and hours spent assisting you with your wedding, and will also have wedding packages to choose from. In this method of payment, you can determine in the very beginning how many hours you will require from your planner, and buy as many (or few) hours as needed, often adjusting your hours needed during the planning process. This way you're in control of how your hard-earned money is spent and on track with your wedding costs.
Some consultants charge a percentage (10%-15%) of total wedding costs. I personally have a bit of a problem with this, as it leaves the door open for unscrupulous wedding planners to take advantage of a good situation: overwhelmed wedding couples with open pocketbooks and stars in their eyes. Simply put, the more your wedding costs, the more your wedding planner earns, and an unscrupulous planner may attempt to hard-sell you into including items and services you don't want, don't need and really can't afford, and when you're not in your best frame of mind. If you do choose a planner who charges rates by percentage of total cost, make sure it is clearly spelled out in the contract whether the wedding planner's fees are included in total cost of your wedding or in addition to total cost.
In any case, never, ever hire a professional wedding consultant without signing a formal contract with him or her-- or anyone, for that matter! Read the fine print! If there's something you don't understand, have it clarified before you sign. And if there's something you don't feel comfortable with, either negotiate required changes and have it initialed and documented, or simply do not sign. Also, make sure your professional wedding planner has a business license and business insurance.
3: Meet with clergy member and schedule pre-marital counseling: Depending on your denomination, you may be required to go through weeks or months of pre-marital counseling and religious training if you intend on being married in that church. This is something you need to find out right away and not leave until the last minute, especially if you've been previously married or have not regularly attended your church in a long time. This is why I suggest this step first-- you may find you'll need more engagement time necessary than originally planned or make other arrangements. Find out what dates are available for your wedding-- there are times in some faiths and denominations where weddings are not performed, such as certain days of the week and high holy days. If you're being married in a church, there may be specific regulations on what you can and can't do or have at your wedding. For instance, you may not be able to have "popular" music included in your ceremony, and this includes the ever-popular Wedding March in some places! In some churches, flowers are not allowed during Lent. Decorations may be limited to what is liturgically correct, and the altar guild director and/or priest has final say-so on these matters.
If you're not planning a religious wedding, it's a good idea to interview a few officiants before selecting one. Not every couple wants to end up with Brother Billy Bob bearing snakes in a sack at their wedding! Find an officiant who suits you both and will perform your wedding ceremony as you wish. Ask your friends, or allow your wedding planner to suggest possible candidates to choose from.
4: Reserve wedding and reception sites and make initial catering contacts: The most desirable venues and vendors are booked up to a year in advance--get your reservation in as soon as possible! Your wedding and reception site will be the major factor in the theme, style, and color scheme of your wedding--it sets the tone of your celebration. The trick is to find a place in which you can envision the wedding you want while keeping an open mind to the inspiration and possibilities a previously unknown venue might offer. You may have a style and color scheme you've wanted forever, then find an enchanting reception site that will cause you to change your mind entirely! This is why I recommend looking at reception venues even before buying your wedding gown and invitations.
Make sure you book a site that will comfortably hold all your guests and there is room for vendors to set up and do their work without getting in the way at your reception. Take note of equipment that comes with the rental of the venue, hours of set-up and tear-down included, and the items you'll have to bring in through independent vendors. Also, take plenty of photographs of your wedding venue when you do the walk-through. They will be invaluable in helping you with your wedding plans. This is commonly a service your wedding planner is hired to help you with--finding the right venue and vendors, and looking over the contracts with you, as your advocate, before you sign on the dotted line.
5: Interview photographers and hire one: This is one item that often gets left out of the budget or forgotten until the last minute. Don't be left with moving images of stationary objects after hiring your best friend's brother-in-law to take pictures in order to save a little money! Your wedding ceremony and reception last only a day out of your lives--your photos last virtually forever. This is not the place to cut back in your budget or be left until the last minute. Good photographers are in high demand and require early booking. So what do you want to be looking at for the next 50 years-- blurred pics of the label of a champagne bottle your somewhat inebriated guest/"photographer" fixed on, or fantastically awesome, professional photographs of you and your wedding? You can't buy back the day. Hire a good photographer whose style and portfolio appeals to you to preserve your wedding day in pictures that will look even better as the years go by.
6: Register at local bridal registries and if you wish, start a bridal website online. As soon as you announce your engagement, people will begin asking you where you're registered and gifts will begin to arrive, even a year in advance of the big day! You'll want everyone to know the china and flatware pattern(s) you've chosen, your household needs, home style and color preferences. Everyone expects the bridal couple to have a registry; it's not considered crass consumerism or downright greed, no matter what snarky Cousin Bluebelle says. It will save your family, friends and other well-wishers a lot of time and guesswork in knowing what you really would prefer and appreciate. It will also save you hours in line returning gifts you can't use, however well-intentioned they may be. However, always remember that others have the perfect right to spend their money on gifts as they personally wish, and are also within the bounds of etiquette to send nothing but their best regards.
Once you've built these basic "bones," the foundation of your wedding plans, you'll be off to a good, solid start with the most fundamental of problems solved, and the rest will soon begin to make sense and fall into place, no matter if you're getting married six months or sixteen months from now.
Happy Planning!
Best regards,
Susan
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